June 2010

Yes, I’ll tell you how I wrote it. I was having trouble coming up with an idea for the next‘Mr Gum’ book. I couldn’t think of anything and it was driving me crazy. One night I was staying in a hotel in Wales as part of a book tour and I was feeling really miserable, not just because of the book but because of A STUPID GIRLFRIEND WHO WAS BEING REALLY HORRIBLE TO ME BUT ANYWAY, LET’S NOT TALK ABOUT THAT. It was about three o’clock in the morning and I couldn’t sleep so I just started writing the first thing that came into my head. And the first thing that came into my head was a story about a bear called Padlock. It wasn’t even anything to do with Mr Gum, it was just this thing about a bear. In that original story, Padlock could see the future. But he was kidnapped by an evil Russian ringmaster called Urmu P. Oolinkrub. A week later, when I got back to my house in London I had another read of the story and I thought it might make a good Mr Gum book instead. So that’s what happened. I lost Urmu P. Oolinkrub and the seeing-the-future thing but I kept the idea of Padlock – only this time it was Mr Gum who was after him. Then I thought it would be fun if all the characters went around the world on ships and boats, which was an idea I’d actually had about three years earlier. So I put all those ideas together and – BINGO! – ‘Mr Gum and the Dancing Bear’ came out. I hope that helps, Georgia!

Hanna, please don’t be cross. I shall answer your question very very seriously indeed, because sometimes I do feel like being a serious man. And you probably won’t believe it, but it is actually extremely serious work to be silly. I take my duty to make you laugh very seriously indeed. If it’s not silly or funny enough – BLAFF! I throw it away and think of something sillier and funnier. So you see, I am very serious after all. (PS – I typed this answer with a pineapple balanced on my head. True.)

Answer one: Essentially, Martin Launderette is a very mixed-up individual who doesn’t trust himself or other people. He is resentful of Jonathan Ripples for being popular and enjoying life and all its flavours and adventures. In truth, Martin Launderette would love to be like Jonathan Ripples but he can’t. He is socially awkward and suffers from a devastating inferiority complex which keeps him from really getting into the swing of things. Rather than trying to overcome this by changing his own behaviour, he continually tries to belittle Jonathan Ripples, but it always backfires on him. Only when Martin Launderette can learn to love and respect himself will he be able to love and respect other people. Answer two: I dunno, he just does.

Because fruit chews are like little rainbows of joy that explode with all the happy colours of the world inside your mouth. Aaaaaaah. Isn’t that lovely? Now let’s all go and hug little kittens until we scream from all the cuteness.

Maybe, I like him too! He’s really not a very good superhero but then again, most of my characters are a bit rubbish at what they do, so I don’t see why he couldn’t have a book to himself.

No. But I do have a fossilised prehistoric shark’s tooth which my friend Nell gave me. I think she picked it up on the Dorset coast. I also have a mighty collection of THREE other fossils: A Madagascan ammonite, a trilobite and a cool bit of stone with lots of orthoceras fossils in it. Below, you can see a picture of what orthoceras-es might have looked like when they were alive, hundreds of millions of years ago. As you can see, they sort of look like Mr Gum stuck inside a fancy ice-cream cone.

No, my hair is very curly because I eat a lot of crusts!

Ah, Elliot. It is a good question but I am afraid I’m not going to tell you. Perhaps we might find out in another book…

Lily, I just don’t know. Love is a mysterious and squishy thing and no one can explain it, not even Friday O’Leary. In fact, especially not Friday O’Leary.

No, only when he tells them how rich he once was. That really shocks them.

Oh, no!!! Well, you’ll be pleased to hear that I’ve almost finished work on Book 8. In fact, you can see what the manuscript looks like below. OOOH! The suspense!

Oh, Ricky, I WISH we could make some ‘Mr Gum’ Action thingies to take all your money away from you and replace it with expensive but disappointing little plastic toys that probably break about three days after you’ve got them – but it’s all very complicated and business-y and I’m not sure that we’re able to do it at the moment. But who knows what might happen in the future? Not even Padlock the bear knows that.

I’d like to be one of the dancing chimney sweeps in ‘Mary Poppins’.

Ha! Another day, another Ween fan! I know I must have a favourite quote but my mind’s gone blank. All I can think of is ‘Watch out where the huskies go, and don't you eat that yellow snow’, from Frank Zappa. Pretty good advice for this time of year, really.

I am left-handed and I really like it because people think you’re a bit weird when you’re left-handed. And maybe they’re right.

I was FURIOSU. Egmont are ALWYAS making mistkates with my wodrs. Not really, they’re completely brilliant, obviously. (And they didn’t tell me to write that thing about being brilliant, I just wanted to. And you know that ‘publishing error’ was a joke, right?)

I would say don’t worry about whether or not it’s any good or not. Just write it and decide whether it’s good later. If you’re enjoying doing it, that’s enough for now. You can go back and change it to make it better once you’ve done the first version. The other thing I’d say is this: It doesn’t matter what it’s about so long as it interests you. The great thing about writing a book is it can be about something enormous or something tiny. It can be a 400 page book about tying your shoelace – or it can be a five line poem about the end of the world. See, there are no bad ideas. You can make anything as interesting as you want if you go into the details of it or find a new way to talk about it. So don’t worry what other people think. Don’t worry what other people say is ‘cool’ or ‘interesting’ or ‘stupid’ or ‘boring’. Do it your way and if it doesn’t work out – no problem. Try again with a different story. The worst thing is not to try at all.

Hi Grace/Sae. So firstly I’d say look at the answer to the question above. Now I’ll add a couple of things to that. Firstly ‘The Talking Peach’ is a simply AWESOME title for a story and you have just won a prize from me. (It was a smile. I’ve just done it.) Secondly, if you keep on writing serious stuff at the moment, then maybe you should go with that for now. Go with what you feel like writing. You can always write funny/random stuff another time. Sometimes I want to write serious stuff too, but it usually comes out silly so that’s what I go with. But you know, you can write all kinds of stories. You don’t have to be limited to one kind or another. Here’s an interesting idea for you. Why don’t you think up a new title. Something very ordinary like ‘The Blue Door’ or ‘What I Did Last Wednesday’. And then try writing two different stories with the same title. One serious and one funny. And completely different things can happen in the two stories. It might be an interesting exercise and it’s much better for your brain than just sitting around watching ‘Britain’s Got Talent’ all evening like I sometimes end up doing.

Hi Tyriq. Um, let’s see. Someone at Egmont said, ‘Hey Andy, why don’t you come up with weather reports from Lamonic Bibber for the website to keep your fans happy?’ And I said, ‘What are you talking about, Someone at Egmont? Don’t you KNOW my fans? They’ll never be happy with that! We’d better give them a whole newspaper! Or the front and back pages, at any rate.’ And so was born the Lamonical Chronicle. And why? Because we love you all and want to make you happy!

Uh oh! I know a drawing challenge when I hear one! OK, how about this. My main excuse for it being so rubbish is that it is very late and I am very tired. My other excuse is that – er, well. I haven’t really got another excuse. It’s late, OK!!

Thank you, you’re very kind, and if I had a purple carrot I’d definitely give you half. I did do a bit of stand-up comedy when I was at university but it really stressed me out. (Actually, I ended up getting kicked out of university. But I don’t think it had anything to do with my comedy…) Anyway, er, I suppose the answer to your question is ‘yes’. And now that I write ‘Mr Gum’ I get to stand up and be funny in front of lots of kids at events and book festivals. So I’ve sort of ended up doing stand-up that way instead. Which I like very much.

Oh, no, I don’t think so, Kitty. Old Granny’s been here for a very long time and I think she’ll be here for a very long time yet. Besides, as she always says, ‘Every day’s an adventure for me. And I’m not just saying that because I’ve had too much sherry.’ But talking of flying away, I myself must fly off now and head for the adventure of sleep. Thanks for all your questions, you magnificent gogglers! Night night!