November 2009

Because they’re incredibly brilliant. A lot of people say David’s illustrations are like Quentin Blake’s but they’re actually very different. They’re much spikier and more angular. I think they’re really unusual and capture the ‘Mr Gum’ characters perfectly. Also, they look quite simple at a first glance – but the more you look at them, the more details you see. So to sum up: DAVID TAZZYMAN IS A BLIBBERING GENIUS.

In general Mr Gum hates reading as it tends to encourage knowledge, fun and education. The only books I’ve ever known him look at are The History of Kebabs by M.N. Flosper, The Unauthorised Guide to “Bag of Sticks” by Leonard Gruffalo and I Hate Everything by Elizabeth Unk, which is just four hundred pages of scribble and rude words.

No, I made ‘em all up in me strange little head. However, I did name Jake after a friend of mine. When I told my friend I’d named a character after him, he was very excited – until he found out Jake was a dog. ‘He’s a nice dog,’ I told my friend Jake, but he still wasn’t very happy about it.

Yes, Leto the potato, there are indeed! And they’re all trying to escape out of my head through my hands and turn into characters in books! But I’m not going to tell you who they are just yet for two reasons: 1/ I’m a horrible meanie 2/ It’ll be more fun if you read the books when I’ve written about them properly.

I’ve always wanted to live by the sea but I can’t decide whereabouts. I think somewhere wild, where you can hear the waves crash against the rocks. That would be amazing. But so far I still haven’t made it out of London, where everything sounds like traffic.

Yes, but only because they’ve got a good snack bar there. He’s never actually gone on the equipment or anything.

No, it’s very very right. It’s as right as... er… it’s as right as... Well, it’s as right as something or other.

Send her to her room and tell her not to come out until she’s ready to say ‘sorry’ like she really means it.

Hello, Miss B. Thank you for your kind support and mysterious surname. My tips for writing are: 1/ Read a lot of different kinds of stories. You have to love reading if you’re going to love writing! 2/ Once you’ve finished your story, go back over it and edit it to make it better. 3/ Write down all your ideas when they occur to you – otherwise you’ll forget them later. 4/ Never throw any of your writing away, no matter how rubbish you think it is. Something in that writing – a word, a line, an image – may be useful to you in the future. 5/ Don’t give up. I didn’t get a book published until I was 32 so there’s plenty of time for your lot!

I have a sister called Laura who’s two years younger than me. She sometimes works as an extra on film sets and she’s a really good painter. I also have a younger brother called Daniel, who is currently slobbing around in the south of France. He’s talking about trying to open a youth hostel there, but in fact he seems to spend all his time playing golf and eating snail pies (true). He’s a right old lazer. So as you can see, I am the only author in my family (yet)!

Dear Rosie – Mrs Lovely makes all sorts of fantastic sweets including Raspberry Flutes, Sherbert Encyclopaedias, Liquorice Oafs and of course her famous Wixxle-Pixxles. But unfortunately I don’t know how to make them, I’m rubbish at cooking.

No, sorry!

I like the song in the kebab shop and the scene where they walk down Carver’s Row. Those bits are pretty sinister.

When I do Billy’s voice he always ends up sounding like Ken Livingstone, if that’s any help.

1/ Because I do. 2/ I grew it to impress a girl and it sort of stuck.

Giant prehistoric sharks suddenly tunnelling their way up from underground oceans and smashing into my bedroom to eat me. True.

Yes, change the magic cigarette to a magic carrot and that will make people want to eat more vegetables. Or possibly smoke more carrots, I’m not sure.