September 2009

Click on the question below to discover the answers!

Has Billy William got a recipe book? I'd like to eat entrail and cow brain stew! - Sonny Jim Pickering, age 7

Billy has got a recipe book, Jim. But I’m afraid there’s nothing as tasty as entrail and cow brain stew in its pages, Billy’s recipes are much more unpleasant than that.

Has Mr Gum ever been married or had a girlfriend? - Emily Jones

Mr Gum has never been married but he has had some girlfriends over the years. And Billy William used to go out with Old Granny – but that was a long time ago, when everything was in black and white and babies wore top hats.

Can we meet Oscar the Cat someday and maybe even get his autograph? P.S Oscar the Cat IS cooler than you, so tee hee to you Mr Stanton! - The Mighty Midget and The Naughty Nerd

Oh, rats. I knew Oscar would be back to haunt me some day. I just knew it. OK, OK, you can see a picture of Oscar the cat right here. He is being attacked by a toy crocodile. Not so cool now, is he?

Who was your favourite author when you were a child? - Michael

When I was really small I liked Roger Hargreaves so much I drew a picture of Mr Bump and sent it to him. And he sent me back a drawing of Mr Small (but I’ve lost it). Later on, I liked Roald Dahl, Enid Blyton, Betsy Byars and The Beano.

Why did you choose old granny to have sherry, and not other wines? - Amira

I didn’t choose it, Amira. It’s just what Old Granny likes to drink. I have to report what I see.

We are loving your books. They are so awesome! They are so funty! We have some questions for you: Who were Billy William 1 and 2? Why does Friday always say "the truth is a lemon meringue?" What is Polly's last name? Thank you! - Grade 3/4C, Carnegie Primary School, Australia

Hello, Australia! How’s it going down there? In answer to your questions: I’m not telling about Billy 1 and 2, perhaps we’ll find out in another book. No one knows why Friday says ‘THE TRUTH IS A LEMON MERINGUE!’ – possibly not even Friday. And Polly’s last name is Lenoir.

Do you know anyone as fat as Jonathan Ripples? - Hope

No! Well, maybe a cat in Los Angeles. She is called Bob and she’s monstrous. Do you want to see her? Well, click right here. (Also, why is ‘Ask Andy’ being overrun by cats today? What’s going on?!)

Hi Andy. I’m wondering what would happen if Mr Gum was president? - Tiarnan

Don’t even think about it, Tiarnan. The world would be a much smellier place. There’d be bits of rotting meat everywhere. Music would be banned and everyone would have to queue up every day to kiss Mr Gum’s boots and put money in his hat.

How old were you when you first had a book published? I'm hoping to become an author! I'm 8 years old at the moment. - Emily Swepson

Oh, bad luck, Emily. I was 7 when my first book got published so you’ve missed your chance. Only joking. I was 31. So keep writing - I bet you can get published before I did. :)

Could you tell me a really funny joke to cheer me up please? - Louise

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead. I hope that cheers you up, Louise.

How did you feel when you had your first Mr Gum book published? - Jasmine

Actually I felt quite nervous. I thought, ‘Oh, no. What if everyone hates this book?’ But luckily it didn’t turn out like that.

Hi Andy. I love your books, they are really funty. You know all the songs you write, do you think of them all by yourself? From your no1 fan Lauren - Lulla Bulla

Hello, Lulla Bulla/Lauren. Yes, I do think of the songs all by myself – and I know the tune for each one in my head. Plus I can play some of them on the guitar (extremely badly). Songs are the funnest things in the world and that is a true fact. I was going to write a song about Lulla Bulla but I couldn’t think of anything to rhyme with it. Sorry.

Hi, I know ‘What’s for Dinner, Mr Gum?’ is next but my question is what’s after that? PS Have you ever thought of Mr Gum and the Broccoli of Doom? - The martian in Jurrasic Park

I’m not telling you what is after the next book for one simple reason: I don’t know yet. I must admit, I have never thought about the Broccoli of Doom. Hey, what’s a Martian doing in Jurassic Park, anyway? I thought that was a film about werewolves.

Hi Andy, I am loving your books and chose one of them to read to a group of children (for a very important course I am starting). I am going to read a section of your first book to them (not sure which section yet!)... saw this and just wondered if you had any ideas for props?! I am loving your sound board but if you have any ideas it would be great to hear from you... sorry for such a serious question!! From a slightly stressed student - Lindsay

Dear Slightly Stressed Student. Please don’t be stressed, not even slightly. (But you can carry on being a Student if you want, that’s OK.) I’m sure you don’t need any props to help you along, just some funny voices and a willingness to act like an idiot. That’s what gets me through events at schools and book festivals, anyway. Personally I always enjoy reading pages 61 to 67 to children, where Polly is off to find Jake the dog. But you may have your own favourite bit. Good luck!

Sooo, if you lived in Mr Gum’s world and he was mean to you what would you do? - Sarah

Edit him.

Hey Andy, what's it like being the writer of the best books ever written? - Tay Marie Bailey

It’s really weird, Tay. People keep driving you crazy with questions about cats.